Does the dress fit? I know you’re dying to know. Yes, I’m in. I can breath. This week again, my path took a little sideways journey however and I don’t think I’m at my peak of comfort because frankly this week was crazy busy and stressful and my own personal down time – just didn’t even exist.
Dear Yoga – I miss you. I’ll be back to you soon.
So the question also came about during dinner with Team Kimpossible (all of Kim’s lovely Bridesmaids) at Bistro Du Coin on Wednesday night, how does your dress fit? We were all curious about each others’ dresses. Bride Kim was there too. Thus ensued a round robin conversation which ended with “This has got to go in the blog.”
After two rounds of drinks, it all came out. (I have to admit I’m slightly nervous about what I’m about to share and hoping that, for the sake wedding symmetry, no one kills me)
Bridesmaid #1: Well I might have to get myself some Spanx because you know…
BM #1: Well no, my thighs, they stick out sideways and we may need to suck that all in. (sidenote she’s got this dry smile on her face while saying this, like these are her old dear friends she’s speaking of – her thighs)….(and aren’t they really?)
Me: Really yours stick out sideways? Oh mine stick our front-ways! I’ve always had this enormous obsession with the line above my knee and how far out it sticks!!!
BM#2: Uh, you mean, your really defined leg muscles?
Me: NO!!! Ever since I was a little girl I’ve been obsessed with the above-the-knee thigh line and how mine stick way out front and, well it’s hard to explain. Remember Kim I told you about this, one night in NYC?! Why can’t my thighs be normal and have a small circumference above the knee just like below? I had never admitted that to ANYONE before.
Me: And her response was like – “I hate my skinny ankles” – (skankles?) – I wanted to kill her!
Bride: No! Well it’s not my skinny ankles, it’s more like, you know, my ankle to thigh ratio.
Me: Right, ok fine. It’s above the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal (obscure How I Met Your Mother reference – high five to any who is cracking up right now)
BM#3: Well I will never forget when I was getting measured for my costume in the 7th grade play and after measuring my bust, mom said, “Oh don’t worry about her hips and waist, they’re the same as her bust.” Tiny.
BM#4: Well I always hated my calves – they’re look like square boxes. What’s up with that? I mean, high heels just kill it for me.
OK so you know how these conversations go. And I have to admit, here’s the funny part, each of the women are highly successful, highly independent, intelligent, confident feminine forces of nature.
And yet, we’ve all got “our thing.” It got me to thinking, how lovely and normal it is to have this – this part of your body that you have this unique (often skewed) perception of, that likely stays with you all your life. No matter how many people say otherwise, no matter how many compliments you get, it doesn’t go away.
And what’s so wonderful about all this, is that I think by round robin-ing about our “body things”, I felt more normal and comforted about my thighs than ever before. The reassurance that comes with knowing that we can love our bodies (I think all of us do) and we can also knit-pick about something, and appreciate it, and LAUGH OUT LOUD lots and lots about it, is kind of, well, a beautiful, perfect-imperfect world kind of thing.
The one after-thought however, I have to throw in my because of my Yoga Teaching nature, is to ask – “does this obsession grip you?” Does it prevent you from doing, being, or having whatever it is you need or want in your life? Does it cause you great anxiety to the point of distress? This is the question to ask, and to answer honestly, because then, if it does, it’s not all fun & games, round-robin champagne toasts and silly comforting laughter.
And I certainly do believe, even though you may not be able to change your above-the-knee thigh line, you may be able to change your relationship with it. And that’s what matters.